Go ahead and do it!
Be careful 8 out of 10 times and other two times, be reckless.
Disclaimer:
I tried writing this one particular blog twice in four months. So, here is what I wanted to share.
11th Jan
I fight with myself more than anyone.
Fighting to act and not react. Fighting to feel things. Fighting to be myself. Fighting to be vulnerable. Fighting to be okay with unknowns. Fighting the urge to fight.
What about you?
Daydreams
My heart belongs to music. Like, it really does.
I have been thinking about writing something. If not my usual anecdotes, then maybe just a little something I observed here and there. However, life has been keeping me busy. I am not complaining. I am enjoying it on most days. It’s different but good different.
So here are a few things that made me take a moment before I went back to my life.
I saw this girl on the metro. The metro was jammed, but there was something about her that made me look twice. She was standing there, one leg moving to some beats and her eyes were damp; she was looking away somewhere, lost in her world. I wanted to know if she needed help. But how do you ask a stranger if they need help or are okay? I don’t know how. I simply asked her if she was okay. She removed one earphone and told me she was okay. That’s when it hit me, how music is essential for this world.
You know, when Elon Musk said we need more inventors in this world than artists, I kinda agreed with him. But artists are inventors too. We need more inventors who can make this thing we call life a beautiful train journey. We need art, music, dance, books, poetry, and anything that consumes you but leaves you with a feeling. Just a feeling.
Music is a huge part of my life. But last year, damn yes, it’s been almost a year, I lost my Airpods and as someone who only wants to use “Apple” products, I didn’t buy an alternative, and buying Airpods wasn’t on my list. Hence, I spent barely 2,000 minutes listening to music.
I want to change it this year. So when I listened to music a few days ago, I knew where my positivity comes from. It’s not that music makes me positive, but it’s the music that makes me more empathetic and makes me realise that life is larger than me and my problems.
By the way, I got new Apple earphones. It has improved my life so much that I can’t express it.
Did you miss me?
Hi everyone, I haven’t written anything for a while.
I have been busy. I have been away. I am making memories, watching sunsets and pretty moon, going on drives, working, drinking a little less water, enjoying cold winds on my face and sometimes, doing absolutely nothing but sleeping with doubts, confusion and sad thoughts. That’s what life is, right? That’s what it should be. A little of everything.
Anyway, I have a few questions for you.
Are you all expressive?
How much time do you take to process things?
The last quarter of 2024 didn’t disappoint. It was, as always, not what I expected. By the way, the woman who handles the boutique (the peaceful one) is pregnant. I’m not sure why I’m updating this here, but these little things made 2024 more wholesome.
I don’t know what I am doing. And I’m not anxious about it, for the first time.
24th Apr
I have been putting people, things into different kinds of boxes. I like to link old scenarios with new ones. I like to think I learn more like this. I like to believe that this is how I understand patterns. I like to think that this is how I have improved my life.
“Oh, I did that” → “this happened” → “that’s how it affected” → “that’s how I felt”
Objective: I don’t want to feel the same. Hence, I can’t do the same thing again.
The problem with this logic is that “that” changes every time. People are different. Situations are different. I’m different now. I have more information about this world, about myself, about things around. I’m more informed than I was a few months ago.
That’s why every once in a while, I have to sit and stop this loop in my head. I have to stop putting myself in others’ situations. I have to start thinking like present Aditi. I have to start living in the present again.
And bro, it’s exhausting. I’m not even sure if I’m making sense. But here I am writing this to my 400 subscribers who decided (or were forced) to read this newsletter.
I didn’t die like all you can see. I also didn’t become a YouTuber. I do love my ambitious self because that version of Aditi has huge dreams. This life is too short for that.
Do you think I can pull off being a singer? FYI, I’m real-life Jiyan and the only song I can try to sing is “Helplessly,” and I haven’t tried singing it in years, by the way.
I watched Kesari 2 recently and I thought, again, “damn, i do wanna do something for my country”, so well, yeah. Life is good.
There’s so many ways this could go wrong…
Now it’s time for the news. For the first time in my life, I did something so out of character and it’s also kinda huge for me, but also very exciting and a happening experience.
What I want to share with you all is that I made a playlist on Spotify. YES! I have a playlist now. My first ever playlist, that too on Spotify. How Spotify? I took a few flights with Indigo and they gave me free 3 months of Spotify and I’m so happy. And because I like Spotify’s suggestions and have been listening to new songs so recently, I thought I should do something new and make a playlist for myself. I’m not gonna lie, I’m very happy with how it turned out. It has 9 songs right now.
I did so many things in January that all my March and April plans are just not working out. But we stand up again and make plans again.
May may be with me and you all.
Like always, my DMs are open. Share random stuff that you enjoyed doing. Are you drinking enough water? Are you sleeping well?
I’ll see you soon this time, hopefully!
Yesss missed this so much!
Hey Aditi! How have you been?
This was a good read , loved it.
And also could relate to the part where you said “I fight with myself more than anyone” because lately I almost feel the same.